God Was On My Side

Lately I have fallen into a trap. A trap where I have felt distant with some issues lately. I am not depressed by any means. Don't worry I know what depression is. Sometimes we all just fall into these not so likable ruts. It's like having a bad day maybe for a week or couple. Ha ha.

Lately I haven't been putting the faith I should be into God. I believe this afternoon on my way to pick up our daughter from preschool God was trying to remind me he is still there.

 It has been raining all morning and still was while I was driving to pick up my daughter. Not mention I had my littlest with me in her car seat of course in the backseat. We have to take a short drive on the highway to get to Viv's school. While on the highway a car in front of me had spun out. My guess is from all the rain. It was raining pretty hard and not the easiest to see at the time so it came almost out of nowhere. Or should I say happened out of nowhere? As I started to slam on my breaks in hopes to prevent an accident because my first initial reaction was to switch lanes, was not an option at that exact moment. As I am slamming on my breaks I hear a loud horn or some noise that sounded like loud air breaks. (We have a few truck drivers on my side of the family.) As I quickly glanced in my rear view mirror I noticed a semi. First thoughts were I'm dead. I'm gong to T-bone this car that just spun out if I can't stop. Then this semi is going to slam into me if he can't slow down or stop in time. At that moment I couldn't think of anything but praying to God. I told him I need to pick my daughter up from school. She would hear the sirens from her school if this accident happened! I have a little two year old in my back seat and another daughter at a different school! At that moment of of literally seconds but felt like minutes in slow motion, somehow the semi was able to swerve over and make his way around me and I managed around the spun out car.

I thank God nobody was hurt and honestly started crying like a baby because I was so happy! Maybe it was God's way of saying, "hey don't forget I am still here for you and you need me right now." Or maybe it was just a fluke thing. But it made me realize I was pushing God aside all over again and I can not do that!

The Power Of Prayer

Let me start off by saying I am a true believe in the power of prayer.

I was born and raised most of my life in a Christian Reformed church. Although I do believe it takes our own time to become a honest believer in God. I have always believed and still do that there is a haven and hell. I've always believed there is one God, I've always trusted in the Bible and so forth. It wasn't till I had my break through when I became pregnant at the age 18 and put all my faith and trust in our God. 

That's when I learned the power of prayer is real. It wasn't just something people would tell me to do so I would feel better about a situation. I finally realized others weren't saying "I'll pray for you" just to make themselves look like a better Christian. Even though I was an honest believer in God and attended church with my family as often as I could and volunteered in the nursery, I didn't pray as often as I should have.

I started off with little prayers here and there. It was amazing how I felt as a human being afterwards. I don't pray out loud or in front of people often. Maybe I should? I wouldn't even tell my own husband when I would pray about a certain situation when my prayer was answered. After a while I started to tell my husband about my prayers being answered. I didn't know whether he believed me or not; he is sometimes hard to read. 

Then it hit me. If you recall in a previous post about me writing that our dog ran away and we couldn't find him. We usually find him within 15 minutes in the park behind our home. This time was different, he escaped without his collar on. Night drew near and I was sobbing like a little girl who lost her dog. Yes I admit it. I felt lost and not sure which direction to take at this point to find him. The next morning we had my husband's Grandma's funeral, which we had to be there at 10AM. I felt doomed that I was not going to have time to find our dog again. So I went to bed knowing there was nothing I could do at that point but PRAY. I prayed and prayed and talked to God while my husband was sleeping next to me. He had no clue because I was praying in my head. 

The next morning I get a call from a strange number.  I answered the phone with a simple hello since it was 8AM. The lady on the other end then says, "We have your dog Porter at a local Veterinary clinic. He is fine. A client of ours found him and brought him in." my prayers was answered. 

Later that day while driving my husband had asked me if I prayed that we would somehow find Porter. I replied yes I did pray and continued to ask him why he was even asking me. Ha ha. He had no reason. I left it at that and just thought maybe he's starting to become a believer in the power of prayer. 

My Prayers For Newton, CT & Thoughts

I had originally written a different post to put up last night, but I couldn't do so with such heart ache I feel for what had happened at Sandy Hook Elementary school. Therefore, I choose to write my thoughts, prayers and condolences.

I don't think any of us will forget the day one of our country's city's endured one of our nations most horrific tragedies. Especially those of us who are parents with children who attend school. Once I heard the news break in across our TV and learned what had happened, I can't even begin to explain how badly my heart ached for those involved. I instantly started praying. Not only am I still praying for those involved who are suffering such grief and trauma, but also for schools and our country to become closer to God. I instantly couldn't wait for school to get out so I could pick my daughter up and embrace her tightly. When I arrived at her school I knew I wasn't the only parent feeling anxious to hold their child after hearing watching the news. The parking lot and pick up lines were longer than normal at an earlier time. As I hear the stories I can't help but think of my own children. My oldest is 6 years old, who is so excited about school; she looks forward to going everyday. For someone to take that away from sweet innocent children just makes me sick to my stomach. I have not told my daughters. I'm still torn in that certain area. I feel shes too young to take it all in. I also don't want her to be afraid to go to school. So for now, I'm not saying a word about it to her. Maybe eventually, but not for now. I know now when I give her that hug and kiss, “Have a good day. See you later. I love you.” I, as a parent, will have that fear in the back of my mind. We can all argue over politics and gun control. Yes I feel some can be changed, but I feel the biggest change of all that needs to be made is letting God back into our children's schools! I don't understand how someone can do such a evil thing. I'm sure we will never know. I send my prayers and send my condolences to Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT.