It was just recently in the past couple weeks that our five year old Daughter had found out we had her Sister (our oldest) before we were married. Not a big secret to the world but it was to our Daughters till....well recently. (Although I believe our Oldest kind of knew from viewing our wedding photos in the past with me. )
Then in the conversation was another difficult question for me to answer as her Mom. She continued to ask me, "Why didn't you get married first like your suppose to?" As a once Teen Mom I feel this is one of the most difficult questions to answer to your children. You have to be so beyond careful how you word it. I feel as a Mom I did the best job I could with this conversation out of nowhere.
I hope my Daughters were/ are all able to understand from this one conversation and now the little conversations we have here and there, that education comes first, then marriage and then....kids!
Have you had to have a tough talk with your child/children in the past that was hard for you as a parent?
6 comments
My ex husband lives with his girlfriend and they have a baby together. They're also incredibly irresponsible with money and have debt up to their eyeballs, no savings, etc. I try to teach my daughter that the way they handle money is not good, and teach her the benefits of saving money and not buying everything you see just because you want it. The girlfriend/baby thing has been harder because I really don't judge people for it, but I also can't agree with the way her dad and his gf have done things. I'm not a religious person, but I do believe 100% in marriage before committing to doing things together like buying a house or choosing to have a baby (and of course accidents happen, I was 5 months pregnant when I married K's father).
The hardest talks with K though were why my ex and I divorced. She was 8 at the time - how do you explain to an 8-year-old that her father was an emotionally abusive man that you had to escape from? Just in the last year have I really been more forthcoming with her on why I left him. She's 12, and I think she's old enough now to be told a watered-down version of the truth, especially since he's now treating her the same way and she needs to understand that it's NOT okay.
Stephanie, Thank you so much for opening up your story and sharing on here! I pray that God continues to give you the strength you need to help your Daughter through it. And may you and your Daughter stay close. Much love!
Kaitlyn
Three Sisters and Us
I sure wish we had a manual for raising kids. Sometimes we just get hit with some difficult, unexpected bumps in the road and having to sit and think about how we answer to their wondering minds, makes us reflect while holding our breath and hoping we do them right.
The past is the past, but what we do in the future is what counts. But I believe some past's will and hope fully make us better.
We have a difficult conversation coming up. My 3 boys don't know we lost a baby girl during pregnancy before they were born. I think its important for them to know because they (and others) make comments about how they wish they had a sister and why I break into tears everytime I hear it. I think its important for kids to know about how the choices we made have consequences, sometimes good, sometimes bad but what matters is how we deal with the consequences that matters. Owning up to responsibility and being a happy family for your girls is all that matters no matter why, how and when you became one :)
I'm not a Mom yet, but I'm sure those little conversations are SO hard! I'm sure you did a great job! Your girls are beautiful.
Have a great weekend!
Christie
The Closet by Christie
www.theclosetbychristie.com
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